... Okay, so.... maybe in terms I can understand but probably not be able to properly follow through on?
Yeah, I get it. There are certain factors.
But some factors are certainly nothing I have anything that can be done or said about.
I genuinely do not see them wanting to see anything of my nature; otherwise they would not have had issue with me discussing them in the only place I was comfortable with doing so.
Most of the above post seems like conjecture and opinion; however, and I can't really make out most of the meaning.
Not willing. Not willing? Suffer like I have suffered the past 25 years of my entire life, and then tell me it's a manner of being unwilling, not unable.
Just as I was starting to think I would be able to have some bloody solace and have a means of dealing with it that wasn't people simply trying to fuck with my mind, or smoking, or drinking. But nah. People gotta go and make sure I have one less means of dealing with the horrors of existentialism.
There's just no end; Life really IS hell. We're already there, and I don't think any of you will understand; opting to think I'm just "suicidal"- Sorta wish I was! But that would imply I had any way to overcome the curse that is a preservation instinct.
Guess Jane Corrund and Cyrelius get what they want now; though...
Do you understand, now? Any hope for me is false hopes. There's nothing that can be fixed. I've got so many problems that it's impossible to dictate if there's anything worthwhile as my brain basically starts destroying itself.
I'm not asking for exceptions. I'm not asking for sympathies. I'm asking for understanding that doesn't involve jumping to one's own diagnosis and pretending to be an armchair psychologist; and not being judged or hated; or even used as ammunition against me, for the simple manner of how my brain is wired. Sure, Ban me. I've been fishing for them in the past to see how much I had to be paranoid about it and how much I could relax; Evidently I should of kept trying...
So sure, ban me, No doubt I deserve it; But it is outside of my mental faculties to understand the whole picture, So I would prefer if it wasn't held against me; given my best efforts to follow things to the best of my ability.
Yeah, I get it. There are certain factors.
But some factors are certainly nothing I have anything that can be done or said about.
I genuinely do not see them wanting to see anything of my nature; otherwise they would not have had issue with me discussing them in the only place I was comfortable with doing so.
Most of the above post seems like conjecture and opinion; however, and I can't really make out most of the meaning.
(08-04-2020, 03:52 AM)Kotetsu Wrote:so much for no conspiracy, then.(08-04-2020, 03:43 AM)Kurou Wrote: I, however, cannot fix my mind.I disagree. You can work to improve yourself as a person. People can and do change.
I don't think you're willing to try to improve.
Not willing. Not willing? Suffer like I have suffered the past 25 years of my entire life, and then tell me it's a manner of being unwilling, not unable.
Just as I was starting to think I would be able to have some bloody solace and have a means of dealing with it that wasn't people simply trying to fuck with my mind, or smoking, or drinking. But nah. People gotta go and make sure I have one less means of dealing with the horrors of existentialism.
There's just no end; Life really IS hell. We're already there, and I don't think any of you will understand; opting to think I'm just "suicidal"- Sorta wish I was! But that would imply I had any way to overcome the curse that is a preservation instinct.
Guess Jane Corrund and Cyrelius get what they want now; though...
Do you understand, now? Any hope for me is false hopes. There's nothing that can be fixed. I've got so many problems that it's impossible to dictate if there's anything worthwhile as my brain basically starts destroying itself.
I'm not asking for exceptions. I'm not asking for sympathies. I'm asking for understanding that doesn't involve jumping to one's own diagnosis and pretending to be an armchair psychologist; and not being judged or hated; or even used as ammunition against me, for the simple manner of how my brain is wired. Sure, Ban me. I've been fishing for them in the past to see how much I had to be paranoid about it and how much I could relax; Evidently I should of kept trying...
So sure, ban me, No doubt I deserve it; But it is outside of my mental faculties to understand the whole picture, So I would prefer if it wasn't held against me; given my best efforts to follow things to the best of my ability.