06-13-2023, 04:47 PM
BYOND Name: Yuliy
Reason Banned: Insult to another person via DM
Date of ban: Aprox. 1 year ago
Admin who banned: Razgriz
Length Banned: Indefinite
Appeal Reason: To begin with, I'm sorry I made a lie to everyone involved.
At June 2022, I made a decision of a suicide by being overdozed with my medication that is perscribed, which main toxic medicine type being Pristiq ER and Seroquel, about 1~200 pills total.
I was suicidal because of my family matter, severe depression, and my self-esteem totally annihilated during that time of month. Most biggest case was my abusive father continuously harassing me and beating me down (yes, I still get beaten down by my father even as an adult, and I have no power to fight against it).
I was tired. I thought I am hopeless at that situation.
I did asked few times to the admins about self-requested ban due to the depression and anxiety, and potential toxicity that may flew to unwanted peoples, but none of the admins were willing to ban me temporarely.
Yes, you admin team do not accept the requests of the self-ban.
As a result, I made a terrible excuse, and sacrificing my relationship to ban me from the community to protect them against me.
Yes, the harassment I made to Silenrea, who was one that was targetted, was intentional bluff and a lie I made.
I eventually managed to contact with Silenrea once more again on recent days, explaining this whole situation and a sincere apology since she has been a target of mine to terminate myself away from the community. She said she was simply shaken, not having a grief on to me, which was a relief.
However, I'm not sure how the chompers community will now look at me, especially since then... I have gone into more worser situation.
Multiple more suicide happened, yes. Even after the June 2022 one (September, 2023 March) so I am actually, afraid, in fear.
Chompers was a place my imagination thrive, and make it real. All that activities with the peoples, I don't forget it.
But now, with a year has passed... It has solidified, rusted, and decaying.
All my social skills, now turned cold.
Connections with peoples, now thinned down to none.
Now, the reason why I want to appeal this right now is... I realized, no one gives a damn about me, at all, even if I die.
I can just vanish into thin air, and no one will ever notice.
I am totally alone now.
And I now feel... Scared. So much.
Now to achieve such place that I wanted when I die, this lonesome is... Frightening.
I can either just... Die, and vanish, or... Maybe, even with a permanent scar, I may... Have someone on my side.
With more high dosage of medications and drug (yes, this perscription didn't decrease, but increased due to suicide attempt), and hopefully now normal brain compared with the last... I desire the connections with peoples.
I want the connections back. Hopefully, it's not lost forever now, even with how harsh my disconnect attempt was been.
I'm sorry that I lied to perma-ban me for my suicide... Now, after a year passed, I want to repair it back.
If, just if, the evidence is required, I can send a fax or a mail, or any possible method I could send about my medical records.
For 3 years of hospital visiting, I do have the evidence and record that is written when and how I have comitted suicide, and which medication is getting perscribed.
[email protected] would be my email address, in case the admin team requires the said written evidence.
Reason Banned: Insult to another person via DM
Date of ban: Aprox. 1 year ago
Admin who banned: Razgriz
Length Banned: Indefinite
Appeal Reason: To begin with, I'm sorry I made a lie to everyone involved.
At June 2022, I made a decision of a suicide by being overdozed with my medication that is perscribed, which main toxic medicine type being Pristiq ER and Seroquel, about 1~200 pills total.
I was suicidal because of my family matter, severe depression, and my self-esteem totally annihilated during that time of month. Most biggest case was my abusive father continuously harassing me and beating me down (yes, I still get beaten down by my father even as an adult, and I have no power to fight against it).
I was tired. I thought I am hopeless at that situation.
I did asked few times to the admins about self-requested ban due to the depression and anxiety, and potential toxicity that may flew to unwanted peoples, but none of the admins were willing to ban me temporarely.
Yes, you admin team do not accept the requests of the self-ban.
As a result, I made a terrible excuse, and sacrificing my relationship to ban me from the community to protect them against me.
Yes, the harassment I made to Silenrea, who was one that was targetted, was intentional bluff and a lie I made.
I eventually managed to contact with Silenrea once more again on recent days, explaining this whole situation and a sincere apology since she has been a target of mine to terminate myself away from the community. She said she was simply shaken, not having a grief on to me, which was a relief.
However, I'm not sure how the chompers community will now look at me, especially since then... I have gone into more worser situation.
Multiple more suicide happened, yes. Even after the June 2022 one (September, 2023 March) so I am actually, afraid, in fear.
Chompers was a place my imagination thrive, and make it real. All that activities with the peoples, I don't forget it.
But now, with a year has passed... It has solidified, rusted, and decaying.
All my social skills, now turned cold.
Connections with peoples, now thinned down to none.
Now, the reason why I want to appeal this right now is... I realized, no one gives a damn about me, at all, even if I die.
I can just vanish into thin air, and no one will ever notice.
I am totally alone now.
And I now feel... Scared. So much.
Now to achieve such place that I wanted when I die, this lonesome is... Frightening.
I can either just... Die, and vanish, or... Maybe, even with a permanent scar, I may... Have someone on my side.
With more high dosage of medications and drug (yes, this perscription didn't decrease, but increased due to suicide attempt), and hopefully now normal brain compared with the last... I desire the connections with peoples.
I want the connections back. Hopefully, it's not lost forever now, even with how harsh my disconnect attempt was been.
I'm sorry that I lied to perma-ban me for my suicide... Now, after a year passed, I want to repair it back.
If, just if, the evidence is required, I can send a fax or a mail, or any possible method I could send about my medical records.
For 3 years of hospital visiting, I do have the evidence and record that is written when and how I have comitted suicide, and which medication is getting perscribed.
[email protected] would be my email address, in case the admin team requires the said written evidence.
